How do you keep the faith?

I am currently reading "Shake Hands With The Devil" by Romeo Dallaire. If you haven't read this yet, and you happen to passing through a Chapters, pick it up and read pages 429 to 431 to get a sense of the genocide in Rwanda.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I purchased this book back in May and am just in the last couple of weeks reading it. I started the novel but was soon put off my the UN and Military speak in the beginning but after hearing that the movie was coming out, I dusted it off and once again started reading. I'm glad that I did however it's one of those books that reminds you why ignorance is bliss and proves how naive I truly am.

I am one of those people that is completely against war and can not comprehend why Canada even has a military or would need to dedicate billions to defence each year...and then I read this book and suddenly I am ashamed that I come from a country with so little to offer when it comes to defending human rights.

In 1994, I was 14 and all I cared about was being popular and wearing the "right"clothes. I remember hearing that people were dying in Rwanda and there was a civil war between the Hutus and Tutsis but my weekend plans were more important. I am horrified that those were my concerns when girls my age were running, losing their family, being raped and mutilated and killed for no reason other than they were born Tutsi. How can I live in such a world? How can I be 27 and be just learning of this genocide? Why are these acts continuing to be carried out in other countries in the world today?

The more I read this book, the more I wonder how those UN soldiers could still believe in a God? Every morning starts and every night ends with prayers. Prayers to who? How could a God let this genocide happen? I am disgusted with the words the page - how could those that actually saw these travesties continue to have faith? I question my faith when I lose 1 person - how could you pray when you witness the death of a million?

My lame-ass Saturday night

My lame-ass Saturday night is so far consisting of writing my first blog in over a month and uploading to my new Creative MP3 player. This is my second lame-ass weekend in a row...major bummer (this saying totally cracks me up).

I have a stupid cold which ruined last weekend ... and it was a long weekend so that is hard to do. But since I was also home sick yesterday, I guess this is a another long weekend. Due to my cold, I'm house-bound. I leave for vacation on Thursday and I need to kick this cold before I arrive in Ireland...so I am staying in and being a good girl. This BLOWS!

I just talked to a good friend and she doesn't even want to have tea with me for fear of infection. Stupid cold. Stupid cold drugs that don't work. Stupid cheap-self that doesn't have cable therefore reduced to watching crap-astic tv. Stupid bad mood cause been locked inside for too long. Stupid lame-ass Saturday night.

ok, I'm done with the word stupid.

Recommendations

I have 2 recommendations...one music and one movie. Both of these I just happened to stumble across and took a chance on...it paid off.

Music: Coco Love Alcorn
http://www.myspace.com/cocolovealcorn
Coco is amazing. When I heard her sing live, I couldn't take my eyes away. Her voice is astounding. I have her CD but it in no way compares to seeing her perform live. I've seen her twice and will hopefully see her again this fall. The first time, I saw her perform, there were literally 3 other paying audience members (and a few band members, friends, staff and press around) so it was a very intimate show...and it rocked. Because I'm not a music person, I can't really describe it in a way that would do it justice so I will stop with a recommendation that you listen for yourself.

Movie: Pizza
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0376827/
If you read the review it's not great. But I loved this movie...there is just something about it that got me. It's about a pizza delivery guy who takes pity on a chubby, loser girl on her 18th birthday. There is just something so awkward about the character of Cara-Ethyl that I found mesmerising - you want to reach out and help the girl but at the same time it's has truly captured that moment of being the uncool 18 year old girl. Also, I loved that as much as Cara-Ethyl is awkward and unconventionally-pretty that the movie wasn't about changing her into a pretty-girl, it was just accepting her and showing her interactions with people who saw her as a person not just a size. It is so un-Hollywood that I loved it.

Things I like right now:

• The Kite Runner
• Green Beans w/lemon
• Tegan and Sara, The Con - my only complaint, the CD is too short
• Blue menu food
• V-fest - excited to go
• Globe and Mail Online: Day in Pictures
• Autumn being around the corner
• Wearing jeans
• Mexican Bulldog from Moxies
• Making jewelry
• My new hair cut and colour job
• Cora's breakfast
  
  
  ....just thought I should balance out my last post's negativity...
  

Major Bummer

The world of job searching SUCKS!

The "perfect" job never even developed into an interview. Then, I did get a call about a job that I applied for thinking what-the-hell-why-not-apply...thought it was above my qualifications. So of course, I got the interview. Went to Toronto, wore the power-suit, envisioned myself in the role, thought the interview went well and unfortunately got my hopes up...got the call today..."you had an excellent interview but we went with someone with more experience"...I frigin HATE that line.

I've unfortunately heard that more than once. I know that I'm young and I have limited experience...however, you also know that - it's on my resume. Please don't waste my time. Last time, I got that response, I found out the person hired had 10 years direct experience plus had been in a position above that role...so unless he had a Kramer-moment, he was getting the job. It's so frustrating being 27. I just want to look the person in the eye and tell them, if they hire me, they will never regret it. Instead they hired the more qualified person...what a bunch of crap.

I try to keep my expectations in check but it's so hard when you can tell the interview is going well ... I honestly felt like I had the VP on the hook and I was reeling him in ... of course he also told me a lot of people applied (of course, I conviently pushed that thought to the back of my head).

I'm completely bummed because work is sucking, my manager is great but unfortunately she answers to a dictator and therefore so do I. When you can't have a reasonable discussion without the ED saying "I am the boss and I say we are doing this..." it's a problem for me. I need to have my opinions matter or at least considered.

At the end of the day, I need to have my own business but I'm too chicken-shit to invest my savings on myself.

Campaign to Save Rick!

Will someone please save Rick Campanelli??!! It actually pains me every time I see Rick on a commerical for ET Canada.

In general, I don't watch any of those entertainment shows - ET, Access, E! - whatever. I like celebrity gossip but if I need a dose, I get it online or in small quantities on The Hour. Celeb news in sort of like salt, it's in everything - even if you don't actually own salt, it's in everything and you can't escape it. Celeb news is on my morning radio every 30 minutes along with the traffic, it's on commercials in-between my shows, it's in pop-ups on my email, it's being talked about by coworkers as they pass my desk...it's infiltrated society and become part of the culture.

But I digress, I just want someone to save Rick. I loved Rick back in the hay-day of Much. Maybe I should say I loved Much back in the day when it had some content and played music. Back in the days of Rick, George, Nam, Sook-Yin and Ed when I could look forward to Fromage and Tree Toss and top 30. That's going back little while...when bands like U2 were actually interviewed.

Now it psychically pains me to look at Rick on ET Canada. He looks and sounds soooo fake. I don't know if he needs to be saved from himself or a contract...I hope he's not there by choice or because the money makes it worthwhile. Get him a lawyer. Or an agent who's not a dumbass. Or a lotto ticket. I need to know that when you "grow-up" that you don't have to take a job that you hate. You only have to look at Rick to know that he is not happy...he's not that good of an actor.

I need to know that at least some people find a career that makes them happy. I was at a communications seminar recently where the guest speaker was talking about the media. He said the media is just like the rest of us and he gave the example of his good friend at ET Canada who everyone would know if he said the name. This friend gets to travel around the world and interview the who's-who of hollywood but at the end of the day, he goes back to his cubicle and hates his job and his boss. I can only guess that he was talking about Rick and now that's all I imagine when I see him on commericals...it's actually gotten to the point where I change the channel.

Maybe George can save Rick...bring him to CBC...just someone help him - I would be forever grateful.

I'm going to email George and ask. ;-)

I feel free

I don't think anyone reads this blog - it's great! I can put whatever I want - I feel free. It's an online diary...that lacks some juicy details.

...on a another note, I'm listening to "the best of" the Strombo Show...hilarious!

People in Love ... Grrr!

As the single friend, it really sucks when your friends are in love. I just got off the phone from with my best friend and I had the pleasure of hearing all about her wedding plans, house purchasing and the soon-to-be inlaws....I really am SO happy for her and her finance and SO happy they are getting married as I don't know a better couple BUT regardless I have limits. I am single, I am not in-love and as happy as I may be for you, I don't actually care about every detail of your "new" life as you may think I do (which apparently you think it's my top priority on a sunday night given all the details you need to share.) Yes - I'm bitter and lonely and need a man - I admit it.

Of course, my night didn't improve when I hung up only for my phone to ring and it was another in-love friend. This is the new relationship at the I'm-so-in-love-did-I-mention-how-great-he-is? stage. Again, I'm happy for you but please share the details with someone else. I didn't need to be hit with the reminder that my best friend is getting married and then be followed with the newly in-love, greatest relationship EVER phone call...and have another birthday around the corner to remind me that I'm not getting any younger.

Please, call someone else (i.e. who isn't lonely and considering her future as a cat lady) to share your oh-so-wonderful life. Particularly if you are going to blow me off for "him"...love, grr.

It's the little things

Fridays are my favourite work day - for all the regular reasons but also because on Fridays I get to wear jeans. I love jeans because they are comfortable and quite frankly they are very flattering. Jeans go well with basically everything I own and I look forward to planning my outfits on Fridays knowing that I'll be wearing jeans.

It's the little things like wearing jeans on Fridays that make my current job just that little bit more bareable. And it completely bums me out when I get an email from the ED at 4pm on Thursday saying the chair is going to be in the office tomorrow hence no jeans. WTF! The one thing I was actually excited about is gone just because someone (someone who herself will probably only be in the office for an hour and won't venture to speak to anyone below management) is visiting...yeek.

I understand the principle of dressing to impress, dressing above your current position, first impressions count, yadda, yadda, yadda. However, I'm not talking about ratty, torn jeans with a sweatershirt - I'm talking about nice jeans with a jacket. Comfortable but business appropriate. Honestly, I care more about whether the person is knowledge, polite and repectful then what is covering their ass.

...when I run the world, I'll be in jeans.

I don't know what to do

I have no idea what to do or what I am doing with my life. It seems that the days are flying by and I am wasting them. I was looking at job postings on workopolis and as I flipped through the seemingly endless posts there was nothing that I wanted to apply for - how can it be possible that there were over 500 postings and yet nothing for me.

Obviously, I have a job and I'm not desperate for work or I wouldn't be so picky. I'll never be without a pay cheque because I will work and I will do anything to pay my bills (just to clarify...I've put my time in behind a cash register and in front of a filing cabinet and I'll do it again if the situation requires it...)

My frustration is with myself. I'm 26 and I don't know who I am or what I want to do. I thought that by now the answer would have come to me. I've just been putting one foot in front of the other for so long figuring when I arrived I would be home. Instead, I think I am neck-high in water with no shore to be seen - I'm not sure whether I should swim or turn around.

Looking at job postings makes me cry, a little. It makes me sad to know that I am no further ahead in my career than I was 3 years ago when I finished university. How can I still not know what to do...how can I still hate and love work. I have learned a few things about myself in the last few years:

1. You can meet awesome friends at work. I have met people that I will be friends with for the rest of my life and I love going to work if only to catch up with them.
2. I'm surprisingly popular. I always manage to make friends with the "cool kids"...actually in general, I stay on pretty good terms with everyone.
3. I'm competitive. I work best when in competition because I have a strong desire to be the best. Although, I'm a team player and help others out - I will also put in the extra hours to come out on top.
4. I'm too social. I can talk/visit the whole day away chatting with coworkers. But I still get my work done b/c regardless of the chatting, I still need to be the best.
5. I get bored by lame tasks. Although I'll never say no to a task, I will bitch about filing or data entry behind your back.
6. I love a challenge. I love when I can solve something that no one can. I love trying something that scares the shit of me and coming out on top.
7. I'm a good judge of character and I will use it against you. I like to figure people out, what makes them tick and then I'll use that knowledge to manipulate you into a) liking me and b) helping me.
8. I'm not a push-over and I don't avoid confrontation however I do choose my battles and when I tell you to go fuck yourself, I do it in a such a nice way that you won't even know what happened until you get back to your desk.
9. I'm a comedian and a doodler. I want to laugh and I want you to laugh. I also, have a short attention span so I doodle to try and stay with the conversation (it's better to half listen then not to listen at all...)
10. I'm good with numbers. I'm good with words. I'm good with people. I'm good with project management. I'm good with travel or with a desk. I'm talkative and I'm happy in silence. I'm intuitive and I'm judgemental. I'm great at reading people and yet I can't figure myself out.

It's strange that I can't find a job looking for these skills.

My, my, how the times they are a changing...

I just went out to my car to find that it had been broken into - probably by some teenagers last night...because I must have forgotten to lock it. My door was open, the ashtray emptied of change, the console open, and the truck unlocked. After I took an inventory, it seems they only thing they took was about $7 in change. The funny thing is that my CD's remained untouched and unopened.

About 5 years ago, the same thing happened and my car was broken into -- however 5 years ago my CD's had value and were taken. These days music CD's have zero value. My, my, how the times they have changed. Something I pay $15 for has no value...

On a side note, I would have loved to have seen there faces when they opened up the console and found my 7 year old cell phone...amazingly they didn't take it either. So all that effort for 7 dollars.

A couple of things that piss me off:

1. Some random man yelling at me on the highway!

I'm a bit pissed off right now b/c this just happened. I am a good driver - I may not be the best but I am without a doubt one of the better drivers out there. I was driving on a 4 lane highway that goes through town so the speed isn't very high at 70km and every 2 km there is a set of lights. Nearing a set of lights, I changed lanes from the right to the left so I wasn't stuck behind an 18-wheeler. In changing lanes, I checked the lane - there was a pick-up truck about 50 meters behind me and the cars in front where stopped for a red light so I changed lanes as I was slowing for the light (I did signal but only momentarily).

Anyways, at the next set of lights the pick-up pulled up next to me and the guy starting yelling at me asking if my car has signals because I should learn how to use them. This "guy" was about 50, white-haired in a silver pick-up and I just sat there and was dumbfounded. It wasn't like I had actually cut this guy off, he was well behind me and everyone was slowing down for a light so this lane change happened when he should have been doing under 50km.

I was so caught off-guard that I didn't say much but just gave him a whatever "sorry" and drove off. But now I'm pissed and wished I could have told him to Fuck Off and to stay on his country roads if he couldn't handle the city. He was just being a dick.

2. Gene Simmons

This was the original topic but I needed to write about the prick in the truck. So onto other pricks...Gene Simmons. He was recently interviewed on The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos (I had to check this spelling 4 times and I'm still not sure if it's correct). I have no idea why George wanted him on the show, he wasn't peddling anything except his sexist views. Normally, The Hour is my favourite show however this interview almost made me flip the channel.

The part that pissed me off the most (aside from Gene's demeanor and just about every other word out of this mouth and the disgusting number of women he's been with which he openly brags about and all I could think is "28 Stories of AIDS in Africa" and what he has possibly given his partners) was when he said that teenage girls don't listen to music like teenage boys. Boys are passionate about music and will always remember the music of their youth as it defines them vs. girls who listen to music that matches their clothes i.e. sugar pop. Then he picked some girl (supposedly random) from the audience to demonstrate and she said when she was 12 she loved Spice Girls.

I hate that he classified all women as being airheads. I love music and I LOOOVEEED music when I was 12. My first CD was GunsNRoses Use Your Illusions 2 - my friends and I would listen to November Rain and Don't Cry over and over again as we pined for the school hottie. I remember, sitting in my room at the window with my best friend looking out the window discussing this boy and how we both had huge crushes on him and right then he came biking down my street and we both just stared at him hoping he would be our first kiss. In the background of this memory is November Rain which was on repeat for hours sometimes as my girlfriends and I would hang out in my room and discuss all important matters (aka gossip). That CD was soon followed by Pearl Jam (Ten, Vs. and Vitalogy) along with Nirvana (Nevermind and Live in NY).

I was pissed at what Mr. Simmons said because it was so untrue. As a girl growing up, music is such a part of all my memories. I have a soundtrack to my life just as much as any guy. And yes of course there were bands that I am less proud to admit to liking but when I hear those songs on the radio they immediately bring me back to the play ground outside my portable and practicing dance moves; or I can suddenly remember the smells of my highschool cafe, remembering all the lunches and classes spent trading gossip; or sitting alone in my room crying with teenage angst; or at prom dancing with my crush. It's all there in my memory but music is the trigger.

Commonsense

Have you ever noticed that commonsense really isn't all that common? I've started referring to this as not-so-common-sense. Honestly, I think that on my resume I will start listing commonsense as one of my attributes along with positive attitude, team player and intelligence.

To me, commonsense is made up of two parts: reasonableness and logic. You can have logic but not be reasonable (i.e. You don't need to put chocolate chips in banana bread, logical, but it tastes better with the chocolate chips therefore who would make it any other way?) and you can be reasonable without being logical (i.e. it's reasonable that I love chocolate and therefore want to put it in all food but it's not logical that this will help me lose weight) however the combination of the two is commonsense (i.e. portion controlled chocolate chip banana bread made without oil).

I am a very commonsensical person and it is extremely frustrating that I am constantly in the presence of people (managers, coworkers, grocery clerks, friends) by people who are less developed in this area. I really think they should start teaching in it highschool - Commonsense 101.

I have 2 examples of not-so-common-sense from just today:

1) A co-worker, in the very same position as me, asked me to follow up with his client for him. I agreed, asked him who I needed to contact, what it was in regards to, what information was needed, etc. It took him about 5 mins to debrief me on the situation. I placed the call, received the information in 2 mins. It would have made a lot more sense for this coworker (who constantly bitches about being overworked - how I don't know - and therefore needed me to do this task for him) to just place the call himself to save time. (Note: In this situation, it's probably that his over inflated ego is filling his head with so much air that his logic and reasonableness centres are out-of-wack.)

2) An ex-coworker wrote an email to his colleagues pretending to be their manager, letting the colleagues know that they were unsuccessful in a recent job competition and their contracts will expire in 2 weeks. He thought this was a funny joke. HR thought otherwise and they fired his stupid ass.

Why is commonsense so uncommon????!!!

Job Post 2

I applied to the perfect job.

I was talking to my best friend tonight and I told her about the job. I'm in limbo, imagining what it would be like to have this job but balancing it with the possibility that I won't even get an interview.

The most comparable feeling is to that of buying a lotto ticket. For the days leading up to the draw, I imagine how the numbers in my wallet will match the million dollar ticket. How if I won I would go collect the money, quit my job, go home, get my passport and then go to the airport and just buy a flight on any plane that caught my eye. How I would just buy people tickets to come visit me where ever I am in the world so I would always have someone to travel with...and in lieu of giving them a piece of my million.

Of course, these thoughts aren't all consuming because let's face it, I still need to work and live...I can't bank on a one in a million chance. BUT it's great for those days that the lotto ticket sits in my pocket and I can daydream about ways to spend the money. That's how I feel about this job. So for the next couple of weeks, I'll be daydreaming about how it feels to actually get the job and live that life.

My friend told me to stop thinking negatively and stop coming up with reasons (aka realities) on why I won't get an interview. She said I need to visualize it and only think positively and act like I already have the job ... she just read The Secret. And as much as I think it's a bunch of huey this positive-energy-universe-stuff...I also think she's a bright girl and I'd rather err on the side of caution. So I will now be putting out positive energy and believing that it will all work out in my favour and I will get this job. I will get the job of my dreams.

:)

Do you make your bed?

Do you make your bed everyday? I don't. I think it's a pointless, useless task. I make my bed for the following reasons ONLY:

1. Changing the sheets.
2. Someone is going to see my bedroom. (And even then, it's usually not really making the bed as much as throwing my comforter over the lumps...unless it's my mom then I make it properly.)

Other than those reasons, I don't understand why I would waste 2 minutes every morning doing something I will be un-doing later that day and that no one else will see.

I think there are probably 3 types of people in this world - those that make the bed religiously each morning, those that make it occasionally (myself), and those who never make their bed (you know, the people that sleep in sleeping bags made for camping NOT your bedroom! Which is so disgusting, how do you wash those? But I digress...). I wonder if any psychological studies have looked at people who make their bed and if so, if this task relates to other personality traits.

I imagine people that make their bed each morning are the same people that iron their jeans, label their food containers, and pay their bills the same day they open their mail. I imagine these are the orderly, tidy, list-followers (I use the term list-followers because I am a list-maker but don't ever actually seem to follow the list) that we all love and hate. The people who have "guest-towels" (never understood this concept, although at wedding showers amongst these bed-makers I pretend to see the importance); follow receipes (cooking is an art, live outside the box and just throw shit in the pot...if it tastes like crap, call it an experiment); and do their dishes as soon as they finish using them.

This is not me. I realize the importance of differences. We can't all be the same...or it would be very boring. But I will never be a bed-maker.

To men who hold the door

Do men ever get tired of holding the door for women? Is it frustrating to know that every time you come to a door that you need to look around (and potentially wait for a moment) for a woman to pass through?

As a woman, I love when a guy holds the door or gives pause before barging through...but I wonder if this gets frustrating for the one who is always holding the door? Not that all men do hold the door for a woman but about a large majority of the time it seems to happen. Maybe this is a location thing but it doesn't seem to matter what age or demographic, men in general hold the door open for women. Which I am very grateful for and always say thank you.

Although, I would say it's only 50% of the time that another woman will hold the door or open it for another woman. I try to be observant and polite to hold the door but I have to admit that more than once, I've let the door close on someone. When does a guy learn to open the door for others? Is this something a father-figure teaches?

Just curious for the males, when is this kindness is instilled in a boy?

Effect and Cause - White Stripes

I love this song - it's brillant! The line "But if you're headed to the grave, you don't blame the hearse" gets me everytime!

Full Lyrics:
I guess you have to have a problem
If you want to invent a contraption
First you cause a train wreck
Then you put me in traction?
Well, first came an action
And then a reaction
But you can't change 'em around
For your own satisfaction
Well, you burned my house down,
then got mad
At my reaction.

Well, in every complicated situation
of human relation
Makin' sense of it all takes a whole lot
of concentration
You can blame a baby
For her pregnant ma
And if there's one of these unavoidable laws
It's that you just can't take the effect
And make it the cause

Well, you can't take the effect
And make it the cause
I didn't rob a bank
Because you made up a law
Blame me for robbin' Peter
Don't you blame Paul!
You can't take the effect
And make it the cause

I ain't the reason
that you gave me no reason
to return your call
You built a house of cards
and got shocked when you saw them fall
I ain't sayin' I'm innocent
In fact the reverse
But if you're headin' to the grave
You don't blame the hearse
You're like a little girl
yellin' at her brother
'Cause you lost his ball

Well you keep blamin' me
for what you did
And that ain't all
The way you clean up a wreck
Is enough to get one pause!
You seem to forget
Just how this all started
I'm reactin' to you
because you left me
broken-hearted
Well you can't take
the effect
And make it the cause

Well, you can't take the effect
And make it the cause
I didn't rob a bank
Because you made up a law
Blame me for robbin' Peter
Don't you blame Paul!
You can't take the effect
And make it the cause.

Trying not to get ahead of myself

I saw the perfect job today. Literally I read the job description and I was friggin beaming all morning at just the thought of getting the job.
In my current job, I feel like I am wasting my life. It was very sad for me the first time I verbalized that sentiment - wasting my life. How sad. How utterly sad. I'm 26 years old and all I want at this stage is a career. I'm not interested in getting married or having kids, I just want to invest my time in my career. And yet, in my current position, I'm wasting my time and my talents.
The job description sounds great and when I'm doing my actual job, I love it. However, 90% of my time is not spent doing my job. It's spent doing menial tasks or surfing the net pretending to be busy. I literally ask my manager for work constantly and am not given any or I'm given the paper to read. WTF! Reading the paper is not work, it's something to do over lunch. It's sad that I want to work hard and do an exceptional job for my company but I'm not given any challenges so I feel I'm wasting my days aways pretending to work.
So of course, I've started the old job search again...looking for a new challenge. I need change. I need big change. At 26, my life has become too settled - I need to mix things up. So I've been searching for that "thing", that job, that change, that sign...whatever you want to call it. But nothing has really popped up...until today. I saw it. And when I say "it" - I mean the perfect freaking job.
The job that I would love. A job that would make me love Mondays. A job, I would quite frankly rock at. Actually, it's kind of a step down and I'm probably over qualified for it but it's in a different industry. An industry that I have no experience in so I'm trying not to get too far ahead of myself and build up my hopes too much. I need to have my resume come across in such a way that they think this girl would be great even though she has no direct experience her skills are definitely transferable.
Half of me, wants to show up in person with resume in hand and declare that I am the ideal person and the other half wants to play it cool and not let myself dream.
I'm not much of a prayer but I did find myself looking to the heavens today. ...Crossing my fingers that it all works out.............can life be that great?

Favourite Things

One of my favourite things is driving. I love just going for a drive. I love the independence. I love the speed. I love singing along to my music, dancing in my seat, with the wind blowing in my face and sipping my timmies coffee.

I love to go for a Sunday drive. When it doesn't matter where you are going or how long it takes, it's just about being in the car and going.

I keep my CD's in my car. I love listening to music in the car. To me, it's the best place. It's where I can zone out and just listen and enjoy or I can sing as loud as I want and no one is listening (so I don't feel embarrassed about my tone-deaf singing and can just rock out.) Today, I was listening to some new music - Amy Winehouse, Cat Power and White Stripes. I bought their CD's earlier in the week but I needed the peace of a Sunday drive to really listen to them and enjoy. Icky Thump is such a good car song as is The Greatest and Rehab.

Driving is my therapy.

Women's Washroom

Why is it that the skinnest women always choose the "luxury" washroom stall (aka handicap stall)? This always cracks me up.

I'm a big girl and I always take a normal stall...even when they are the tiniest little stalls (you know the ones - where you have to straddle the toilet to close the door.) I never think to use the "luxury" stall unless I'm in a line up and it's the next one available, otherwise, I choose another. But invaribility, I will see a tiny girl (I'm talking about the ones that practical disappear when they turn sideways) go into the larger stall and it makes me wonder - why do they need the extra space?

Live Earth - what's the point?

I've watched a bit of it today. Partly because it's been so talked about that I needed to watch it. Partly because I don't have cable and it's on one of the two channels that come in. Partly because I'm interested in the music.

However, from what I've seen aside from the odd commercial from Glen Weston telling me about how green Loblaws is and how I should shop there and Suzuki's daughter showing me how to live "green"...I don't really see the point of this big event. Sure the performers sing and that's enjoyable (if that's your thing) but how does that save the world? I just watched Fall Out Boy and the lead singer was wearing some poly-plastic jacket...does that really demonstrate his commitment to the environment or is he just there to be paid and have his music heard around the world?

The audience seems to be enjoying themselves but I have to wonder how did they all get to these venues? In SUVs? Hummers? buses? and since they are out in the sunshine, what's happening at their homes? Is the air conditioning cranked? Are the lights left on all day to deter robbers? Did they bring food from home in re-useable containers?

Seems to me there is a lot of media glizz-and-glamour happening, if the true intention was to save the environment wouldn't it have made more sense to tell people to stay at home. I mean you could have a day that was dedicated to the environment...people could stay at home, sit around outside (shutting off all non-essential appliances, turning off the a/c and lights), eat some local food, and listen to the concert broadcast on radios? Wouldn't that provide a low carbon footprint?

To me, this seems like a win-win for Al Gore, he is a shoe-in with the media and entertainment industries -- mass exposure which ties-in well with the timing for the presidental election. Wouldn't be surprised at all if he rides this Live Earth right into the polling stations.

On a side note, what's the carbon footprint of a war? I'm guessing it's high. So while I wash my clothes in cold water and turn off the lights and eat local maybe someone could do something to end the FUCKING war!

I love this photo! The daisy is my favourite flower because it's simple yet beautiful. Also, it's one of the first photo's I took on my digital camera. I am slowly entering the 21st century...I got rid of my film camera and now I have my very first blog...it's possible I may even invest in a cellphone or an ipod soon ;) ...or I might wait another few years...what's the rush?

Definition:

am·biv·a·lence (ăm-bĭv'ə-ləns)

n.
1. The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea.
2. Uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow.


I'm creating this blog because I need an outlet for my ambivalence. My intention is for this to be a space for all the crazy thoughts cursing through my head...with the end game that if they are written somewhere maybe, just maybe, I will be able to sort through all my uncertainty and indecisiveness to figure out what to do with my life.

Today, when I signed up for this blog, my intention is to remain anonymous and not tell anyone about my blog...but that could change. If you happen to stumble across these ramblings though, feel free to comment....whether you agree, disagree, love it, hate it or want to date me...I'll read it all.