How do you keep the faith?

I am currently reading "Shake Hands With The Devil" by Romeo Dallaire. If you haven't read this yet, and you happen to passing through a Chapters, pick it up and read pages 429 to 431 to get a sense of the genocide in Rwanda.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I purchased this book back in May and am just in the last couple of weeks reading it. I started the novel but was soon put off my the UN and Military speak in the beginning but after hearing that the movie was coming out, I dusted it off and once again started reading. I'm glad that I did however it's one of those books that reminds you why ignorance is bliss and proves how naive I truly am.

I am one of those people that is completely against war and can not comprehend why Canada even has a military or would need to dedicate billions to defence each year...and then I read this book and suddenly I am ashamed that I come from a country with so little to offer when it comes to defending human rights.

In 1994, I was 14 and all I cared about was being popular and wearing the "right"clothes. I remember hearing that people were dying in Rwanda and there was a civil war between the Hutus and Tutsis but my weekend plans were more important. I am horrified that those were my concerns when girls my age were running, losing their family, being raped and mutilated and killed for no reason other than they were born Tutsi. How can I live in such a world? How can I be 27 and be just learning of this genocide? Why are these acts continuing to be carried out in other countries in the world today?

The more I read this book, the more I wonder how those UN soldiers could still believe in a God? Every morning starts and every night ends with prayers. Prayers to who? How could a God let this genocide happen? I am disgusted with the words the page - how could those that actually saw these travesties continue to have faith? I question my faith when I lose 1 person - how could you pray when you witness the death of a million?

My lame-ass Saturday night

My lame-ass Saturday night is so far consisting of writing my first blog in over a month and uploading to my new Creative MP3 player. This is my second lame-ass weekend in a row...major bummer (this saying totally cracks me up).

I have a stupid cold which ruined last weekend ... and it was a long weekend so that is hard to do. But since I was also home sick yesterday, I guess this is a another long weekend. Due to my cold, I'm house-bound. I leave for vacation on Thursday and I need to kick this cold before I arrive in Ireland...so I am staying in and being a good girl. This BLOWS!

I just talked to a good friend and she doesn't even want to have tea with me for fear of infection. Stupid cold. Stupid cold drugs that don't work. Stupid cheap-self that doesn't have cable therefore reduced to watching crap-astic tv. Stupid bad mood cause been locked inside for too long. Stupid lame-ass Saturday night.

ok, I'm done with the word stupid.

Recommendations

I have 2 recommendations...one music and one movie. Both of these I just happened to stumble across and took a chance on...it paid off.

Music: Coco Love Alcorn
http://www.myspace.com/cocolovealcorn
Coco is amazing. When I heard her sing live, I couldn't take my eyes away. Her voice is astounding. I have her CD but it in no way compares to seeing her perform live. I've seen her twice and will hopefully see her again this fall. The first time, I saw her perform, there were literally 3 other paying audience members (and a few band members, friends, staff and press around) so it was a very intimate show...and it rocked. Because I'm not a music person, I can't really describe it in a way that would do it justice so I will stop with a recommendation that you listen for yourself.

Movie: Pizza
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0376827/
If you read the review it's not great. But I loved this movie...there is just something about it that got me. It's about a pizza delivery guy who takes pity on a chubby, loser girl on her 18th birthday. There is just something so awkward about the character of Cara-Ethyl that I found mesmerising - you want to reach out and help the girl but at the same time it's has truly captured that moment of being the uncool 18 year old girl. Also, I loved that as much as Cara-Ethyl is awkward and unconventionally-pretty that the movie wasn't about changing her into a pretty-girl, it was just accepting her and showing her interactions with people who saw her as a person not just a size. It is so un-Hollywood that I loved it.

Things I like right now:

• The Kite Runner
• Green Beans w/lemon
• Tegan and Sara, The Con - my only complaint, the CD is too short
• Blue menu food
• V-fest - excited to go
• Globe and Mail Online: Day in Pictures
• Autumn being around the corner
• Wearing jeans
• Mexican Bulldog from Moxies
• Making jewelry
• My new hair cut and colour job
• Cora's breakfast
  
  
  ....just thought I should balance out my last post's negativity...
  

Major Bummer

The world of job searching SUCKS!

The "perfect" job never even developed into an interview. Then, I did get a call about a job that I applied for thinking what-the-hell-why-not-apply...thought it was above my qualifications. So of course, I got the interview. Went to Toronto, wore the power-suit, envisioned myself in the role, thought the interview went well and unfortunately got my hopes up...got the call today..."you had an excellent interview but we went with someone with more experience"...I frigin HATE that line.

I've unfortunately heard that more than once. I know that I'm young and I have limited experience...however, you also know that - it's on my resume. Please don't waste my time. Last time, I got that response, I found out the person hired had 10 years direct experience plus had been in a position above that role...so unless he had a Kramer-moment, he was getting the job. It's so frustrating being 27. I just want to look the person in the eye and tell them, if they hire me, they will never regret it. Instead they hired the more qualified person...what a bunch of crap.

I try to keep my expectations in check but it's so hard when you can tell the interview is going well ... I honestly felt like I had the VP on the hook and I was reeling him in ... of course he also told me a lot of people applied (of course, I conviently pushed that thought to the back of my head).

I'm completely bummed because work is sucking, my manager is great but unfortunately she answers to a dictator and therefore so do I. When you can't have a reasonable discussion without the ED saying "I am the boss and I say we are doing this..." it's a problem for me. I need to have my opinions matter or at least considered.

At the end of the day, I need to have my own business but I'm too chicken-shit to invest my savings on myself.

Campaign to Save Rick!

Will someone please save Rick Campanelli??!! It actually pains me every time I see Rick on a commerical for ET Canada.

In general, I don't watch any of those entertainment shows - ET, Access, E! - whatever. I like celebrity gossip but if I need a dose, I get it online or in small quantities on The Hour. Celeb news in sort of like salt, it's in everything - even if you don't actually own salt, it's in everything and you can't escape it. Celeb news is on my morning radio every 30 minutes along with the traffic, it's on commercials in-between my shows, it's in pop-ups on my email, it's being talked about by coworkers as they pass my desk...it's infiltrated society and become part of the culture.

But I digress, I just want someone to save Rick. I loved Rick back in the hay-day of Much. Maybe I should say I loved Much back in the day when it had some content and played music. Back in the days of Rick, George, Nam, Sook-Yin and Ed when I could look forward to Fromage and Tree Toss and top 30. That's going back little while...when bands like U2 were actually interviewed.

Now it psychically pains me to look at Rick on ET Canada. He looks and sounds soooo fake. I don't know if he needs to be saved from himself or a contract...I hope he's not there by choice or because the money makes it worthwhile. Get him a lawyer. Or an agent who's not a dumbass. Or a lotto ticket. I need to know that when you "grow-up" that you don't have to take a job that you hate. You only have to look at Rick to know that he is not happy...he's not that good of an actor.

I need to know that at least some people find a career that makes them happy. I was at a communications seminar recently where the guest speaker was talking about the media. He said the media is just like the rest of us and he gave the example of his good friend at ET Canada who everyone would know if he said the name. This friend gets to travel around the world and interview the who's-who of hollywood but at the end of the day, he goes back to his cubicle and hates his job and his boss. I can only guess that he was talking about Rick and now that's all I imagine when I see him on commericals...it's actually gotten to the point where I change the channel.

Maybe George can save Rick...bring him to CBC...just someone help him - I would be forever grateful.

I'm going to email George and ask. ;-)

I feel free

I don't think anyone reads this blog - it's great! I can put whatever I want - I feel free. It's an online diary...that lacks some juicy details.

...on a another note, I'm listening to "the best of" the Strombo Show...hilarious!